Most (If not all) know or at least, have an inclination that sex before marriage is a no no. The society we live in has become sensitized to the value of promiscuity and pre-marital sex which makes it difficult to either live in the way God intends or be aware of real and everyday sexually transmitted diseases. Most sexually active individuals justify their activity by using ‘protection’, of either a diaphragm (for women) or condoms (for men). These in itself have been proven to not be 100% safe/ effective, leaving 2% or more of its users to the chance of either falling pregnant, getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases and , or contracting HIV AIDS.
Talking to people about the value of abstinence in today’s world, you need to be creative and realistic about what the issue is or may be. We need to get the real, practical things about sex out in the open so that perhaps if anyone carefully thinks through it, it may enforce the need for them to remain chaste till the appointed time.
Logical Reasons for Guys to avoid Promiscuity.
- The Space Between – Men are visual. It is easy to get them chasing after something that looks right and seem to have all the right packaging. What you need to know is that women look and smell different between the legs than they do externally. The type of undies a woman wears, her outfit and her hygiene is an important factor to note. You may not know until you get down to it and women will always take the time to ‘prepare’ for that moment they think you may hit it. She may have been untidy all week, been wearing black colored undies or thongs which are not made of cotton, maybe have not wiped or does not wipe after she passes out urine. You do not see all that goes on behind the scene and you have no means of checking. Imagine the bacteria on the skinny jeans she has on, which she may have worn with a thong the day before, and all the vaginal discharge and sweat will be hanging around the jeans, waiting for you to share some. You can only watch and avoid these signs when you have her in your home as your wife.
- The Living Space– some ladies are not naturally tidy. The day you want to visit maybe the first day in a month her sheets are changed. The toilet she uses suffers the same negligence yet she uses it day in day out. That is the same vagina you will be looking forward to ‘hitting’ without knowing the condition or state that it has been in.
- The Hygiene– I usually recommend that a lady takes her bath at least two times a day. In the morning when she is up and about and at night when she goes to bed. It makes logical sense doesn’t it? Women have natural discharge during the day, mixed with sweat and then at night, all is washed away clean for freshness and cleanliness. Men, the only way to know if a woman truly keeps such routine is when you have her living with you as a wife. You cannot test a routine over a few days, weeks or months. What you may meet is a lady who takes her bath just before she meets you. Not cool.
- The Wardrobe– as sad as it sounds, some ladies ‘borrow’ outfits from their friends to impress you. Anything can be borrowed as long as it does the job of getting your attention. You see the package and you think it’s all legit. How do you know this is real? Well, you simply won’t know. What you will be sleeping with is a woman who has nothing of hers on of which you have no idea where those items of clothing may have come from. Your guess is as good as mine. Skin diseases are a few of what maybe transferred.
Logical Reasons for Ladies to avoid Promiscuity.
- The Space Between– Women also get carried away with good looks in a man. His six pack muscles, his clean outfit, his voice and his persona. The last thing on our minds is how clean the ‘area’ is. Men wear their boxers more than 2- days in a row. Boxers mixed with sprinkles of urine, semen and sweat. That item is in a condition he won’t even park his car in, but will park it in a woman who is willing. Sweat gathers around the area of the scrotum and just like the women, the men also will have an odor. Ladies feel like being able to pleasure a man orally is the way to go but one thing they do not realize is, where has that penis been before it ended up in your mouth? It’s unclean, it’s not safe and its not healthy. You can only know a clean man when you have lived with him, in his house, as his wife. At least you will ensure his boxers are washed won’t you?
- The Living Space– just like women, men can be quite deceitful when it comes to their living space. The place will be kept in good shape when they know you are about to visit. Same issue with the bed sheets and toilets. Depending on the class of woman you are, some men may not even bother to change the bed sheet for your arrival. The same place they had sex with ‘Cutie’ is the same place they will have sex with ‘Sugar’. Often times, you will see sperm marks on the bed sheets, coupled with other unfavorable components, bacteria will be borne and you will be the victim. A man’s living space can be regulated when you live in with him, and he is your husband.
- The Hygiene– personal cleanliness goes a long way to keep the body clean and healthy. Women, do you know how clean he really is? You want to have sex with a man, and you have no idea that he has just been to the toilet. Men will use the toilet with their penis hanging down into the toilet. Since you do not know what his personal hygiene is like, you will not know when he takes the same unclean penis and decorates you with germs, resulting into various skin diseases and a lot more.
- The Wardrobe– Men are mates. Most do not see anything wrong in sharing T-shirts or shirts. If they can share that, what more are they sharing that you are unaware of? Men will impress you and go to any lengths to get you into bed, what he may be using to impress you may really not be his. Sharing wardrobe of other people that you are unsure of their cleanliness is a sure way to contact various skin diseases.
Sex is an act that needs to be done respectfully, with the right person and in the right conditions, and in my opinion, ensuring the person is worthy of your time takes away the emotional, physical, health and mental headache and heartache of rushing into it just for the thrill or fun of it. Wait for it, Play safe!
Anuli Ola-Olaniyi is not a Sex Therapist/Sex Psychologist. She is a wife, mother and believer of logical applications of issues in life. She writes for a blog called DV SOUL (www.dvsoul.org.uk) which she co-owns with her husband, sharing inspirational articles and biblical perspectives of living in today’s world.