I was reading recently in one of the weekly magazines about orgasms and how many women faked it. Now before you start to wonder what this article is about, bear with me. Well, the write-up included surveys of women, and the different ways and reasons why they felt that they had to ‘fake it’. Most of the time, it was so as not to hurt the man, his ego, emotions, and what not. One would feel that perhaps this could be a matter of the duration of the relationship. Yet, even when these copulatory partners were temporary, they still felt compelled to fake it. Even in permanent relationships, they still faked it. And it got me thinking, if relationships are our most intimate social interactions with others – some sexual, emotional, psychological, etc – what then does this mean if people fake it, even married couples?
Now this is the point of the article!Why is it that people do not feel comfortable enough to be themselves in relationships? To bare it all? You know. Reveal themselves for who they are, because if a person can’t accept you, then why would you want to be with them? Well, that is my point of view. Whatever happened to communication, honesty, etc. Time and time again, a new expert comes up with the secret to relationships and marriages. I am no relationship expert per se, but I tell you this – communication, is the single most important factor in the quality of a relationship. We humans are social creatures and therefore need to communicate – although I must say, some need to talk more regularly/often than others (including yours truly) But What does this mean for our relationships if we are faking it, in other non-sexual ways, not baring our all – for fear of not hurting the other.
In many cases, the other party would want to know how you felt, what made you tick, what makes you unhappy and even, yes even if a particular habit that they have annoys you – if you don’t let them know how can they stop? If you don’t show it, how will they know? Interestingly, the article didn’t talk about men faking it. Does this mean that men are more open/honest in relationships or even scarier – that men are non-communicative that they can’t speak about it at all, even annonymously to a newspaper magazine?